i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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