So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
