When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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