i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
