I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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