She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
