dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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