your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
