Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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