just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
