this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think a kid would responsible me up
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
