Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
