my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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