Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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