he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
