You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
