the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
