When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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