We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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