You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
