I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When are your genitals available?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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