I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
