Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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