Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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