I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
