hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
