How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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