Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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