your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
