I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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