If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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