Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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