I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
