i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
