Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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