we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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