Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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