dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
