You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
