everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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