i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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