dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
