Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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