Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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