remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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