Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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