I hate your face
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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