I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
