just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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