you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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