she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
