she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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