That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
