I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
